Were I to attempt a visualization of my current mental state, I think it would look something like a big ball of spaghetti--this, not because spaghetti actually looks like my brain (though it perhaps does), but for other, more abstract, reasons. First, let me restate the image: "big ball of spaghetti". My state of mind is "big" because I am heavily engaged in mental activity (big=heavy?...bad physics. bear with me). My state of mind is a "ball" because... it has to assume some shape; otherwise, its just big spaghetti--not the case; ball seem'd most natural. Let's not waste any bad jokes on "of". Now,"spaghetti". My state of mind resembles this Italian cuisine in that the individual strands of my thoughts are woven and twisted amongst the rest in a largely incomprehensible mass. I can see the end or beginning of many ideas, but very few of my metaphorical starch chains are completely in view.
I can recall times when my ideas were not so confused. By introspection, I could trace thoughts throughout my mind until I understood them. Now, I just see lots and lots of hints at thoughts--fragmented glimpses of something whole, like seeing a face through the window of a southbound car while driving on northbound I-85. You see a split-second image of something vastly complex. Had you the time to understand the face, your perception would still be but a glimpse, for that face is attached to a body, a mind, a life. My thoughts seem to be equally elusive.
I was going to reference Pound's "In A Station Of The Metro" here; the image of faces flashing past reminded me of that. But I probably won't quote it, saying, "The apparition of these faces in a crowd / Petals on a wet, black bough." It's rather unnecessary at this point.
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